I'm such a Mom!

Well, I’d say it’s been a good while since my mind ran on the keyboard! A lot has happened and a lot needs to be vented. First update, I had my baby on Oct. 4th at 4:04 pm, Aiden James 19 in. and 6.75 lbs, light skin, hazel eyes nose like mommy’s, eyes & chin like daddy’s; so adorable, in love with his being, a smile that lights up the room & makes your eyes water. Second update, I dyed my hair reddish brown, looks damn good. Third update, and the most important, I finally realized how much I need God in my life 24/7, I say, one step in life that is very serious & made clear to myself by a series of events that I just don’t want happening over & over.

But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God. Psalm 40:16-17.

Need to say, I need God in my life, without him I feel anxiety, I feel the need to rebel, my anger overrules my mind, I get flooded with worries, & I start acting before thinking things through. So God proved to me over and over that it is He that needs to be 1st before any thought of mine. If not, I feel like my friends are the only ones that can lift me up, I start thinking of what life could’ve been if I had listen, but He directs me to his path; its not too late! I start to think that I love the way I am when in reality it’s just the fact that I don’t care what others think. So God knows that I’m trying my best to stick with Him, and for those who one day will call me a hypocrite for messing up or doing the opposite of what God says, just know that even though I mess up and it may always not seem right of what I’m doing I’m always on his side, I’m not going to run and hide because I feel bad or shame for what I’ve done but I’m going to get up again and still stand by His side. As long as I know His word and don’t stop believing in Him, everything should be alright. I know what He wants from me, my attention; I know what He needs from me, my soul. I need to get rid of my agenda and get on His schedule, I need to stop pleasing others and focus on what He says.
Besides God on my side I got a little angel that He blessed me with, Aiden. I love him; he makes me feel special and like someone actually needs me. There’s nothing better than being a mom it’s more than a treasure, it’s more than my life. I just pray to God that He helps me in raising him according to His ways.
Aiden’s getting big fast he smiles a lot and he’s calm, he loves to talk and watch TV, I guess you can say that’s one step I need to watch out for. I miss my baby even when he’s asleep. I’d say with all this that’s going on with my life I know my purpose in life is to follow what God has for me, challenges are up ahead but one thing I know how to do best, is be a mom. As it is when I was pregnant I saw people in a different perspective and I separated myself from that I started realizing that some people don’t understand what they are suppose to be doing and just settle for their own reasoning and it makes me think different of them. Most would call it judgmental but I just knew what was right from wrong and I started speaking my mind, it’s not hating but I guess in my way, I was just being revealed to a different life. Now I’m more reserved and I think twice. But in the case of alcohol, I cant think straight, my ways are like those of quick feet, my anger is set ready, my past constantly comes across me and I freak out, as if I never forgave no one, I become aggressive if one thing is not in place, I just know that its not for me in the environment I don’t belong. My comfort is at home and that’s where I belong with Aiden and whoever wants to be part of it! Alcohol is okay when you talk about sips, but when it’s chugged, that’s not for me. I’m not just a lady anymore I’m a mother & I love it!

My 2 Cents!

I once wished just for God, & I guess you can say I’m really seeing it now, but what I need to keep in mind is to remain strong & know that I have power, as stupid as it may sound to most of you, knowledge is power. From the things that I’m aware of, I know most of you are not so interested in or think that topics like the truth are just plain dumb or just a conspiracy of a nut case. But oh well I guess I can only hold it all in until they really ask what my opinion is… But as for God I try to be real, I’m no where near perfection, I do have my reasons, which people would consider me judgmental but hey when you know something is wrong or false, would you call them out or at least let them know insight?! I know most would be rude & say that’s none of my business/ talk to the hand… lol… but hey it’s just 2 cents… he=)he! Well my beliefs are just out of this world for real! I have my opinion on religions & people that consider themselves holy or just topics that the modern day world have lost their morals on & think it is OK! I guess society now a day let a lot of things slide way too far, I just see some of it as rebellion & the excuse of "It's OK, people are born that way!" I guess I'm one of those that would really stomp my tiny foot & say NO!

Jesus-is-savior.com

check out the website, it really blows your mind & also reveals a lot of religions & their false ways! hope you find it really interesting! On how the Govt. is behind every misery of the world, view on gay marriage, the catholic religion being a cult & much more.... =)

Intro

As my first blog, let me tell you about myself. I’m 22 years young, I’m about to have a baby boy, currently speaking 5 months and 1 day…yay! I love to type instead of writing, I guess you can say I love the key stroke sounds… especially the space sound…hehe. =) When I’m convinced about a subject & I know I’m right, don’t argue with me unless you show me your facts. Through out my blogs, I guess you can read my thoughts, feelings, frustrations, insanity, point of view, & of course interests. Yes, people, I’m crazy & I love it, the kind of crazy that will stand on top of the world, scream from the top of my lungs, while banging my chest like a caveman as if I just got done killing someone… well to be honest I think that’s Tarzan that does that, but I see it more as a caveman…lol. Anywho, forgive my grammar its horrible with no sense, just the way I speak in my mind!